Dear Mr. Wren,
Did you get my letter about becoming the new "Voice of the Braves?" I was reading a book this guy at work give me about the habits of highly offensive, excuse me, effective people, and it says you need to keep bugging somebody when you apply for a job. And seeing's how the plumbing supply business is -- no pun intended -- in the shitter on account of ain't nobody building anything, and Lowe's is probably gonna lay me off, I could really use a gig announcing the Bravos.
Like I said, I got a bunch of catch phrases, and just colorful sayings, what l'll call "Southernisms" I can bust out on the listeners and viewers.
Anyhoo, let me know if you got my application. Times are tough for a working man, brother. I'm sure you can relate. If you're ever in Forest Park and want to grab a cold one, look me up.
Sincerely, with mic in hand ready to go to Orlando for spring training,
Duane From Forest Park (my real name's actually Duane Shumate, but Duane from Forest Park could be my on-air name. You know, I'd be creating a kind of persona, or whatever.)
These really do need to be sent to Wren and the rest of Braves management. Seriously.
Posted by: atlpaddy | October 24, 2008 at 08:20 PM