First, a question. Which redhead would you rather do, Stefanie Powers or Jill St. John? I done 'em both, but a paisan never kisses and tells. Heeey!
I'm sure you're as outraged as I am about the lack of coverage of what I like to call the miracle in Portland. Jerry has coached the Vikings up to greatness, baby. They're competing for the Big Sky conference title, and not a word in the fishwrapper. I think they're intimidated by Jerry's genius. Heeey!
Scene on the PSU sidelines, cheering on the Vikes: Portland native Isaac Brock, lead singer of Modest Mouse. I don't know the band, baby, but no doubt they innovate, much like Emerson Lake and Palmer. ELP live -- don't get me started. Angel dust and prog rock don't mix, baby. Heeey!
Dodgers or Phils? I don't know and I don't care. I gave up baseball when Bake McBride retired. I was the one who first dubbed him Shake and Bake, baby. But do I get any credit? Of course not. Speaking of Bake, nobody had better weed than John "The Count" Montefusco, baby. Heeey!
Whatever happened to that hot broad who played Mrs. Columbo? If you see her, tell her Bobo said hi. Heeey!
How come nobody wears satin track suits anymore? I still got mine from my endorsement deal with Asahi. When I put that on, I feel as good as I look, baby. Heeey!
Well I got to wrap it up. While you losers are watching baseball, I'll be roaming the sidelines as part of GPTV's award-winning high school football coverage. I hope the coach will talk to me this time. Baby, tough times, for sure, but I'm coming back. Like Matty Wilder said, baby, ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't no one gonna slow me down. I've got to keep on moving. Words to live by, baby.
Heeey! (I gave Henry Winkler that line, just so you know. Bobo imitates no one!)