I ain't fat, I'm just eatin'

Thankfully for Andruw Jones, Los Angeles is not New York, where Johan Santana (who left the mound with a 3.05 ERA) was booed after a mediocre outing in his Shea debut.

I imagine Andruw's life would've been threatened by now were he playing for the Mets. He's batting .100 for the year, with 10 more strikeouts (14) than hits.

He's hearing it from Dodgers backers, and deservedly so. He's making $18 million a year, or more than $4 million a hit. More problematic is Andruw's weight which, when combined with the smirk, tells fans "I don't really give a fuck." We know better, but they're awaiting some evidence.

It's unlikely Andruw won any converts with his comments in today's Los Angeles Times. Known to be a sensitive guy, I'm curious how he handled his first grilling at the hands of T.J. Simers, the aggressively acerbic columnist who calls Dodgers owner Frank McCourt "the parking lot attendant."

Andruw is now "the tubbo":

Talked to the Dodgers' Andruw Jones before Saturday night's game, and he whiffed again.

I wanted to know if the tubbo thought he could maybe hit his weight at some point this season.

He said he's not fat and doing just fine, apparently envisioning himself as some sort of supermodel and weighing in with a .105 batting average.

He said he's 240 pounds, and I said no way, and so he said, "Do you want me to go weigh myself?" ...

"Let's go," I said while leading him to the scale, and he checked in at 248 pounds. "My shoes are on," he said, sounding more like my wife than the Dodgers' center fielder.

I suggested a diet contest benefiting Mattel Children's Hospital at UCLA since I would like to drop a ton before a special event in June, but Jones wanted no part of it.

"You're hilarious," he said. "I don't have to prove really nothing."

I guess that's what happens when a team agrees to pay you $36.2 million over two years. ...

"That's their problem whatever they think; I have no problem with my weight," the tubbo said.

Maybe it's a problem and maybe it's not, I said, but when you come to a team, struggle and look like a player who just didn't care enough to be in shape when the season begins, it upsets fans.

"That's part of life," he said. "Good players get booed. Look at A-Rod."

The tubbo should ever look that good in a uniform.

I'm guessing the boos got a little louder after another 0-fer today, with two K's.

Andruw will be back at The Ted next weekend, and he could use some cheering up. Braves fans owe him. Too bad AJ doesn't feel like he owes the Dodgers anything.

--CB

In honor of the title of this post, rationalize your drinking problem with the help of Albert Collins.

Comments

[Mike-El]

That article reads like the writer went up to Andruw and engaged him in a lighthearted manner, got him to exchange joking "snaps" with him...and then wrote it up like he confronted 'Druw and popped off at him. Jerk.

[wuky]

Funny, but I ALMOST feel bad for AJ. But then I remember that indifferent grin he always wore (even just after K'ing with 1 out and a couple men on), and any smidgen of sympathy I have fades.

[atlpaddy]

Oh boy. Andrew is in for a long year, and to think that it's only LA. I can't imagine if he had gone to NY or Boston.

That news about Santana getting booed is classic thought. Mutts fans are complete imbeciles. I'm sure Johan is loving it there already...

[Jack Straw]

That's awfully funny since he ain't on our team. 248?? I thought his playing weight was 190. No wonder he doesn't steal bases anymore.